just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
