I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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