if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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