Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
