i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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