You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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