I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
