Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
