I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm like, not good at living.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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