you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
