i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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