once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
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I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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