Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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