Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Randomize
