You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
