And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize