Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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