I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
