We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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