I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
