The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
