look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
