u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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