Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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