He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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