I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
