I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
