remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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