Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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