suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
