Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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