would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
