woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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