yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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