he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
