If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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