I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
