id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
