I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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