i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
