He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize