Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
