so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
