she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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