do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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