you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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