i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
