if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
