Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
