Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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