Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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