I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
