i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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