I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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