Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
