Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
