pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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