just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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