Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
