Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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