All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
