I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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