do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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