We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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