this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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